Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Stellar Cherry Pie



Six unidentified flying objects descended upon a sparsely populated mountain town. Twelve diminutive aliens disembarked from their ships and combed between the buildings and properties for traces of cherry pie. Cherries were aphrodisiacs to the space travelers, who hadn't had any physical concourse in several light years. Strictly by coincidence the town was having it's annual cherry festival and homemade pie contest.

Spurred on by the pheromones the tiny red fruit exuded, the extraterrestrials zeroed in on the festival held at the river front park. As they neared the area of the homemade pie contest, their shiny silver spandex spacesuits began to display various throbbing bulges and juicy wet spots. An emerald green river ran through town. The residents of the town hunted and fished along it’s banks all year round then celebrated year’s end with the cherry festival. It was in the center of this park that the cherry pie contest was taking place and a mass of people had gathered and brought their appetites. 

The small aliens assembled into a flying wedge formation and used their advanced laser weapons to cauterize an open path through the humanoid crowd. The pie contestants and pie judges scattered away from the long tables displaying the juicy red and sugary brown cherry pies. All twelve aliens jumped upon the tables and gorged themselves with pies, letting the glossy red syrup run down their chins and arms as they ate. Their shiny spacesuits became a sticky, syrupy mess. An orgasmic frenzy began as the aliens performed an orgy of wild sexual positions and acts across red-checkered tablecloth. They ripped their spandex spacesuits off and squealed in high-pitched gibberish as their thin-limbed bodies wiggled and rhythmically flopped atop broken pieces of flaky pie crust and gushing geysers of cherry syrup filling.  

The festival crowd stood back, shocked and aghast. Almost breathless as they stared at the tiny creatures from another galaxy. Mother's shielded their young offspring's eyes while snickering teenagers used their cellphone camera's to record the bizarre sight. Paunch bellied men in camo vests began fantasizing about oozing slices of pie and looked wanton at their wives. The event lasted no more than a few minutes, after which the aliens lay motionless atop long tables dripping with violated pie filling. 

The small aliens purred in a state of orgasmic fulfillment. The shocked onlookers began to shake off their surprise and initial fear. They momentarily looked back and forth at each other forming a mute resolution then all rushed the pie tables. Angered and maddened for the unprovoked laser attack the aliens perpetrated upon them, the townsfolk took advantage of the aliens’ lapse in awareness and wrecked upon the creatures, earthly revenge.

The cherry festival’s homemade pie contestants later made pies filled with alien entrails and held a new pie contest. The residents of the town never touched another cherry again as long as the vision of the mad alien orgy lingered in their memories. 

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